The two-day workshop kept me focused outside of myself. Being back at my desk today allowed me to focus inward again - not a good thing. It didn't help that it was yet again rainy, dark, windy, miserable weather.
I have always suffered from a tendency to react psychosomatically to bad thoughts, and currently I find myself in a downward spiral caused by lack of sleep, accumulating exhaustion, frustration, and anger.
It takes a lot of energy to counter this process, which can really gain speed and mass if left alone: the sadness creates the tiredness which disinclines me to exercise which then exacerbates the tiredness and the sadness.
When I am happy, I have energy; when I am sad/angry/frustrated and feeling powerless, I have no energy. So, I have to make a conscious effort - and I am always amazed at what an effort it is - to break free. Tomorrow, luckily, I am going to see my wonderful energy healer, and then on Saturday I will go to yoga.
The most import thing for me for next week is to lay out a plan for going to yoga several times, and then to do it - the benefits are enormous when I do go, I know this.
But man, when I feel like this, I am paralyzed.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Keeping on
Today I actually got to work in an area of strength - instructing a mentoring workshop. I had been asked to do the EDS mentoring workshop for Prevention, and we have scheduled 2 to start with. The first one is today and tomorrow, and then the second one will be December 1/2 (gad - December?).
After the disappointment of yesterday, it was very satisfying to go into the classroom again and realize that I do have strengths - I am able to be entertaining and funny and still make a lot of points using information that people want to know about mentoring. I have 15 participants, just a good number, and they are joining in and seemingly enjoying the process, asking questions, etc. They have a good sense of fun, and while I can see a few using their laptops, I don't mind, because they are doing it only a little bit and still participating in the activities.
I inherited the mentoring workshop as a very popular item in our EDS calendar, and I think I have kept the intent and the integrity even though I have rearranged the syllabus, so I feel pretty good about it. And I sure needed that today!
After the disappointment of yesterday, it was very satisfying to go into the classroom again and realize that I do have strengths - I am able to be entertaining and funny and still make a lot of points using information that people want to know about mentoring. I have 15 participants, just a good number, and they are joining in and seemingly enjoying the process, asking questions, etc. They have a good sense of fun, and while I can see a few using their laptops, I don't mind, because they are doing it only a little bit and still participating in the activities.
I inherited the mentoring workshop as a very popular item in our EDS calendar, and I think I have kept the intent and the integrity even though I have rearranged the syllabus, so I feel pretty good about it. And I sure needed that today!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Autumn colours
I really love walking around on a sunny Fall day (or a day with some sunny periods and lots of grey or black clouds) and taking pictures. I am getting to know my Nikon D80 little by little, and I enjoyed using it to capture these October colours.
Here is one of my favourite of this year's autumn photos, mostly because of the strong dark trunk and my favourite approach - backlighting. I had several walks in the neighbourhood in October, and every time, I am most seduced by the colours and the light when the sun is behind the subject.
This huge yellow tree is also backlit, but the effect is different because of the small size of the leaves - I was captivated by its lacy effect. I am not sure what these trees are, but when you have a whole street of them, the tunnel effect created is amazing. I was trying to capture that by shooting from the middle of the sidewalk, which goes back into the photo, leading your eyes to the next tree. Another visually attractive aspect of these particular trees is the extra growth they get on the trunks, which shows up here as a golden fuzz on the tree bole. And again, the darkness of the trunk and branches provides a strong contrast to the yellow-gold aura of the rest of the tree.Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Remembrance Day Part Two
We went out in the afternoon after checking the weather as best we could and deciding, based on the number and size and blackness of the clouds, to take the car to Granville Bridge and the Seawall. Had a very nice walk going east from Granville Street as far as Cambie Bridge and back again, during which time it was variously sunny, spitting rain, and threatening.
After almost an hour's hike, we drove to Jericho Beach thinking to have a beer at the Jericho Sailing Club's neat little hideaway cafe, which overlooks the ocean and a great view, but it was closed - not only closed, but in the middle of renovations. So off we went to Granville Island to the Arts Club Lounge....Closed. Undaunted (and very thirsty), we walked over to Bridge's under a very threatening and black sky, and were welcomed in to the warmth and general social chaos, there to enjoy calamari and a drink.
By the time we walked back to the car it seemed as though the worst of the weather had blown over, mostly making the North Shore very wet, but apparently the rains are to appear tonight. For us, we had a lovely afternoon without getting pissed on!
After almost an hour's hike, we drove to Jericho Beach thinking to have a beer at the Jericho Sailing Club's neat little hideaway cafe, which overlooks the ocean and a great view, but it was closed - not only closed, but in the middle of renovations. So off we went to Granville Island to the Arts Club Lounge....Closed. Undaunted (and very thirsty), we walked over to Bridge's under a very threatening and black sky, and were welcomed in to the warmth and general social chaos, there to enjoy calamari and a drink.
By the time we walked back to the car it seemed as though the worst of the weather had blown over, mostly making the North Shore very wet, but apparently the rains are to appear tonight. For us, we had a lovely afternoon without getting pissed on!
Remembrance Day 2009
Red for Poppy Day. Didn't go to the Cenotaph this year, but have honoured our veterans on my own. Most significant was the collection of portraits the students in the Langley Fine Arts School did of the soldiers killed in Afghanistan - absolutely amazing work - portraits are very difficult to do, and the kids created beautiful and moving tributes to all the soldiers who have died there so far. It was very moving to read the reaction of the families, as well....They seemed to appreciate the gesture from the young students equally as much as the finished portraits.
My nephew-in-law, Jake, is scheduled to go to Afghanistan with the US Marines; in fact, he may have already left, I'm not sure. He and Sophie live down in California so we are somewhat out-of-touch, although Sophie lives on Facebook, and I take my info from her postings. She is completely in the military social circle, with friends consisting of marine couples....They sound like a bunch of teenagers (although they are all around 20 years old now) having fun with bbq's and such, but the reality is, they are facing losing their spouses for a large chunk of time to a battle zone. I hope Sophie has lots of support for while she is alone and worrying about Jake.
My father was never in the military, and spent the Second World War working in Edmonton, where apparently some woman on the street handed him a white feather to indicate that she thought he was a coward for not being in the army, when the fact was that they wouldn't take him because he had had tuberculosis. He would have been 27 when the war started, so I guess people thought he should be signed up.
My grandfather, my mother's father, spent the First World War overseas driving an ambulance. I don't know whether that was because he was a Conscientious Objector, or just his job in the army. He died when I was 6 and I never had a chance to talk to him about it. His son, my Uncle Arch, was in the Navy during the Second World War and part of the crew that captured a German submarine off the East Coast, but he never talked about it either. He learned to be a diver in the navy, the kind that went down in a suit with an on-the-boat air pump (i.e. not Scuba) and he did some diving commercially after the war, before becoming a tug boat captain. Arch looked very handsome in his navy uniform, I must say - he was in his early 20's, I think.
One thing I am very grateful for is that my 2 dear sons have not had to face going to war and have had no inclination, being of an artistic bent, to choose the armed forces as a career. I remember when the first Gulf War started, that was my immediate reaction - OMG we're at war - what does this mean for Jordan and Liam? But it didn't last long, and it really was never a full-on, fight-to-maintain Canadian sovereignty type of war, so the fighting was restricted to 'career' soldiers and not the general public, as in previous wars. In fact, the Gulf Wars were so small that I cannot remember their dates - something I feel bad about, as some Canadians did die, and others ended up having collateral damage as a result of being part of it.
Anyway, I honour the war dead and the survivors in my own way, with thanks.
My nephew-in-law, Jake, is scheduled to go to Afghanistan with the US Marines; in fact, he may have already left, I'm not sure. He and Sophie live down in California so we are somewhat out-of-touch, although Sophie lives on Facebook, and I take my info from her postings. She is completely in the military social circle, with friends consisting of marine couples....They sound like a bunch of teenagers (although they are all around 20 years old now) having fun with bbq's and such, but the reality is, they are facing losing their spouses for a large chunk of time to a battle zone. I hope Sophie has lots of support for while she is alone and worrying about Jake.
My father was never in the military, and spent the Second World War working in Edmonton, where apparently some woman on the street handed him a white feather to indicate that she thought he was a coward for not being in the army, when the fact was that they wouldn't take him because he had had tuberculosis. He would have been 27 when the war started, so I guess people thought he should be signed up.
My grandfather, my mother's father, spent the First World War overseas driving an ambulance. I don't know whether that was because he was a Conscientious Objector, or just his job in the army. He died when I was 6 and I never had a chance to talk to him about it. His son, my Uncle Arch, was in the Navy during the Second World War and part of the crew that captured a German submarine off the East Coast, but he never talked about it either. He learned to be a diver in the navy, the kind that went down in a suit with an on-the-boat air pump (i.e. not Scuba) and he did some diving commercially after the war, before becoming a tug boat captain. Arch looked very handsome in his navy uniform, I must say - he was in his early 20's, I think.
One thing I am very grateful for is that my 2 dear sons have not had to face going to war and have had no inclination, being of an artistic bent, to choose the armed forces as a career. I remember when the first Gulf War started, that was my immediate reaction - OMG we're at war - what does this mean for Jordan and Liam? But it didn't last long, and it really was never a full-on, fight-to-maintain Canadian sovereignty type of war, so the fighting was restricted to 'career' soldiers and not the general public, as in previous wars. In fact, the Gulf Wars were so small that I cannot remember their dates - something I feel bad about, as some Canadians did die, and others ended up having collateral damage as a result of being part of it.
Anyway, I honour the war dead and the survivors in my own way, with thanks.
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